Reflection 4.2 & Class reflection

While reflecting on this last essay I do not have much to say. I had made a simple mistake that I was unable to correct on a rough draft. In the future I will have to make sure I re- read my rough drafts and my final copies very carefully before I get in trouble again. Over all I have learned my lesson and it was a good mistake for a freshman to make before I found out to late.


Class:

Overall the class was almost the same atmosphere every time you stepped into the classroom. It was a good learning experience because you could see how everyone else was writing their essays on the same exact topic or style of writing that you were. It also helped because we talked about essays everyday. Even though i did not talk a whole lot in the classroom it was good to hear from the students and the professor that know what they are talking about. I got to learn a couple different styles of writing essays and it really broadened my horizons.  It was a great class and I wish I could have done better.


Colby

Reflectoon 4.1

While doing this essay on Concussions I feel like I might have just said to much about my stories and not talk about concussions enough. But I liked this essay because we were allowed to pick what we wanted to do and I really wanted to do a paper on sports and concussions was perfect because of the fact that kids on my team in high school went through the concussion problem and were forced to go tot he hospital. That's another thing I may have done poorly on my paper because my title is "Sports Related Concussions" and only talk about football and how many injuries occur in football, I do not really talk about sports. I will defiantly have to workshop this paper very well and make sure that I have exactly what I want. I feel I have a good beginning but I also have a good amount of time left to work on this paper.  

Rogerian Reflection 3.2

While doing my Rogerian Revision I wanted to make sure I went through everything and made sure that I had everything that I wanted. My main concern was to point out both sides of Abortion and not choose a side but let the audience know what side of the argument that I was for. Also I felt really good about this essay because I really rushed through the rough draft so I had to do the second paper like it was my first and rearrange everything. I really enjoyed the rogerian argument because I got to learn about the other sides argument more then you thought you would. And I also used several sources for this paper which I feel like I benefited from.

essay 4.1: Sports Related Concussions

Sports related concussions

            Sports related concussions are becoming very relevant in the athletic world. Every level of age groups you start to hear about the severity of concussions and what there effect is on the game. Sports related concussions are beginning to become a problem because after a certain amount of people are getting them the sport decides to change the sports rules or modify what it uses for equipment. In baseball they have changed the metal bat rule to a BBCOR (Batted Ball Coefficient of Restitution) instead of BESR (Ball Exit Speed Ratio) to slow down the velocity of the ball of the bat to make the game safer for the infielders. In football they have changed the helmets to make them absorb the impact better with more cushions in the helmet. In the United States there are over 300,000 concussions annually that are sports related (Sports Related Concussions. pgph. 1).  Many sports are taking drastic measures to make sure everyone in the sport is well protected.

            While playing sports I have had a couple of teammates have severe head trauma because of the fact they had a mild concussion and they kept playing. I used to play football in high school and I had two teammates that had concussions so bad that both of them were hospitalized. There are more then 62,000 concussions alone just for contact sports in high school (Sports Related Concussions, pgph 1).

            The first kid named Derek White used to free safety. Free safety is a defensive position that plays in the back field and tries not to let anyone get behind him because he is the safety man. When he would tackle people he would lead with his head and constantly hit people really hard but you would never see any signs of injury or concussion come out of him until one day late after practice. One day late after practice he texted his old girlfriend and asked her when they were going to see each other or when he was allowed to come watch a movie in her basement. In the meantime she had no idea what he was talking about because nobody knew that he was concussed so severely. So she just played it off cool and told him that he was not able to come over and to stop messing around with her. But then everything got worse. Derek had begun to show up at her doorstep in the pouring rain to ask if he was allowed in. The girl meanwhile had another boyfriend and has not been with Derek for over a year or two now because they just used to date in middle school. The girl got scared and ended up calling for her mom which ended up calling the parents of Derek. After Derek returned home he kept talking to his parents about Caitlyn and why she would not talk to him and that is when his parents began to realize that something was wrong. Derek also began to stop eating because he always felt nauseous due to his concussion and every time he ate it gave him the opportunity just to throw it right back up. The parents were forced to hospitalize him and make sure that everything was alright in his head and there was severe damage to his brain. The whole football team went out of there way to go see him and make sure he was alright, but he was never the same after that. Even today when you see him it is awkward because he remembers you but he does not remember much about you. It is a strong case of how severe a sport related concussion can be.

            The next individual I am going to talk about is Willy Enslow who was a nose guard. A nose guard is the player that lines up across from the center and hits the center who snaps the ball as hard as he can every play. Most of the contact from a center and nose guard is with there heads and it is very hard to prevent them from colliding with their heads just because of where they are positioned. So during one game after a play Willy had laid down on the field and was not really moving until the trainer came out to make sure everything was alright. He was showing a small amount of having a concussion so he was benched for the game and possibly the next game depending on doctor’s orders. But this is when it took a turn for the worst. When Willy got into the locker room after the game all he was doing was throwing up and then dry-heaving because he had nothing in his system from constantly puking. His parents brought him home in full uniform just because it was too hard for him to change while he was constantly puking. While he was at his house he would not stop dry-heaving and puking anything that they made him drink or eat. So then the parents decided that they were going to have to put him into the hospital to make sure that anything was not severely messed up. It ended up just being a severe concussion. The concussion had him out of school for the rest of the year with him having to have a tutor come to his home so that it was possible for him to graduate. He still graduated, but every time you see him it still looks like he is sick because of how pale he always is. Concussions are a severe problem.

            There are many signs and rules that could be changed in the football world to make the game a lot safer. When looking for a concussion you need to look for confusion, disorientation, dizziness, headache, nausea, vomiting and extreme fatigue (Staten Island Advanced Sports Desk). All of which if you do not notice, the injury to the brain will only get worse. Some changes that could be likely are to completely take the head out of blocking and hitting in football (Staten Island Advanced Sports Desk) but that could be really difficult because of how hard everyone plays the game and at how fast of a pace the game is played. Concussions are going to happen no matter what, no matter what you decide to change on the player’s equipment.

            The number of individuals who have suffered from a concussion has doubled in just a decade (Salynn Boyles, pg. 1). It can also be severely worse for a young individual to attain a concussion then an adult because a younger individual is still having their brain form and with a concussion at a young age it could effect how the brain developments for the rest of their lives. Roughly half a million ER visits for concussions occurred among 8- to 19-year-olds between 2001 and 2005. About half were sports-related, and 40% of sports-related concussions involved children between the ages of 8 and 13 (Salynn Boyles, pg 5 & 6). That just goes to show that at such a young age contact needs to be limited because a concussion at such a young age like that could ruin there entire lives for being able to play a sport or just ruin how they function period. Concussions are an issue that needs to be taken very seriously.

Works Cited

Boyles, Salynn . "Sports Related concussions on the rise of kids." WebMD. WebMD health News, 30 Aug 2011. Web. 19 Apr 2011.

"Scary Statistics about Concussions." silive.com.

 03 Oct 2010. Web. 19 Apr 2011.

"Brain Trauma Research center (Sports Related Concussions)." Department of Neurological Surgery. University of Pitsburgh , Web. 19 Apr 2011.

prewriting 4.1

After working with my group I figured I would do sports and concussions because of all the most recent issues in football and hockey about the concussions. For my climax I will probably tell the story of the individual who I know that went through the concussion problem. Also after the story I will put much detail in the information on concussions and why they are so serious. Also there are a lot of stories with pro athletes that talk about there concussions and why they can not play so I can always mention them. I have to make my essay almost lead straight to the climax then have a nice slow ending to my essay. My climax scene will most likely be when the individual I know tried to go back into the game to early from his concussion, then made play with his head then ended up puking because his head was still not over the first concussion. Also a player of my football team was hospitalized due to to much contact with his head. A lot can happen with concussions and it is a very strong aspect that I can talk about. You need to take them seriously.

prewrite essay 4.0

For my narrative essay I want to write about something that people will really enjoy. But honestly I do not have much besides sports and having fun with my friends. I have gone very far in sports and I could defiantly write about something interesting that I have done with sports such as a state championship or going to the national tournament, both events that a lot of people do not get to experience.  My problem will be making a strong claim of what I am trying to write about. But if I do choose to write about sports I could mention how great they are for a kid growing up and what they will do to a persons social identity. Sports can teach a human being a lot about respect and how to be a good sport when you encounter a loss. There are a lot of issues that could be changed in sports to make more people play but that is why there is a variety of sports for people to choose from.

And prewriting is always hard because I do not know exactly what I am going to be talking about in my essay yet so I end up just rambling on about an issue which I might possibly pick.

essay 3.2. Abortion: A Controversial and Timely Topic

Abortion: A Controversial and Timely Topic

     Abortion is a controversial subject that can be viewed by two opposing points of view.  There is the pro-choice side of the argument and the pro-life side of the argument.  A person can either agree with you on the issue or they can be on the total opposite end of the spectrum.  The issue of abortion is very timely right now with the Federal Government threatening to take away all funding for Planned Parenthood, where the majority of abortions are performed and where women get birth control (Ertelt, 2011).  The statistical rates of abortions, the reasons for having an abortion as well as arguments for both sides of the position will be examined in this paper.

      The likelihood of  having an abortion is much greater when a person  is young.  Fifty- two percent of all abortions happening in the United States occur in women under the age of twenty- five. Women in the ages of twenty through twenty- four obtain thirty- two percent of all abortions. Teenagers obtain around twenty percent and girls under the age of fifteen only account for under two percent (Abortion Facts). 

     The rates of abortions vary by race, marital status, religion and age. White women lead the abortion rates with sixty percent. Sixty- four percent of all women who have abortions are never- married women and married women only account for eighteen percent of all abortions.  Catholic women account for thirty- one percent of all abortions  and forty- three percent of all women will have one abortion by the time they are forty- five (Abortion Facts).

     In researching why women obtain abortions in her article “Why Women Choose Abortion-Reasons Behind the Abortion Decision”, Linda Lewin (2011) examines a study released by the Guttmacher Institute in 2005 which point out three main reasons why women have abortions.  One is a negative impact on the mother's life.  She explains that taken at face value this reason may sound selfish.  However, a pregnancy that occurs at the wrong place at the wrong time in a woman's life can have a detrimental effect on her ability to raise a family and earn a living.

      The other two reasons cited as to why a woman might have an abortion are financial instability and relationship problems and/or unwillingness to be a single mother.  Further, when women were asked to provide reasons why they chose to have an abortion (multiple responses were permissible) of those who gave at least one reason: 89% gave at least two, 72% gave at least three.  Nearly three-quarters said they could not afford to have a baby.  The answer of not being able to afford the baby was most frequently followed by one of three other reasons:  pregnancy/birth/baby would interfere with school or employment, reluctant to be a single mother or experiencing relationship problems, and done with childbearing or already have other children/dependents (Lowen, 2011).

     A person's political stance on abortion as well as their values will ultimately have an impact on how a woman makes a decision about whether or not to have an abortion.  A person who is pro-choice would be more likely to have an abortion and a person who is pro-life would be against having an abortion.   The pro- choice side believes that government should not have a say in what a women does with her own body (Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice, see cartoon below).  Whatever they want to do with their body they should be allowed to do without anyone trying to make them stop (Abortion: pros and cons).  The U.S. Supreme Court legalized abortion as a result of Roe vs. Wade on January 22, 1973 (Pro-Choice-An Informed Choice?).   This issue has been a controversial and a widely debated one ever since.

     The pro-life side of the argument believes in the notion that people do not have the right to kill another life in order to preserve a woman’s right (Abortion: pros and cons). The pro- life side believes that all life deserves an opportunity and that life starts at conception. However, the other side of the debate disagrees and believes that life does not begin until a baby is delivered and breathing their own air (Abortion: pros and cons). 
     There are other factors that affect the abortion argument as well.  People who are very religious, for example in the Roman Catholic faith do not believe in abortions.  They believe that government has an obligation to preserve all human life, regardless of intent, viability or quality of life concerns.  The Roman Catholic Church prohibits abortion, euthanasia and assisted suicide, the death penalty and war with very few exceptions (Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice).

     The religious and scientific aspects  of agreeing or disagreeing with abortion can also be looked at by thinking about the soul of the baby.  The pro-life side of the issue would say that the soul is developed at the moment of conception.   However, the other side believes that the soul is implanted when quickening occurs, or when the fetus first begins to move.  To further complicate the issue of when the soul is implanted, the United States government cannot acknowledge the existence of an immortal soul implanted at conception without taking on a specific, theological definition of personhood (Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice). 

     Also, there is no scientific basis for the existence of the soul.  If we look at science to help define when a life begins you first have to understand the brain.  In that case, neo-cortical development, which scientists believe makes emotion and cognition possible does not begin until the late second or third trimester of pregnancy (Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice).

     A recent development in the abortion debate is that the Federal Government is threatening to stop funding planned parenthood which does more than 324,000 abortions annually and receives more than $363 million in federal, state and local taxpayer funds.  The House of Representatives approved the Pence amendment which takes away funding for Planned Parenthood.  In leading the way to support the amendment Congressman Mile Pence of Indiana said, “I believe that ending an innocent human life is morally wrong.  I also believe it is morally wrong to take the taxpayer dollars of millions of pro-life Americans and use them to fund organizations that provide and promote abortion-like Planned Parenthood of America” (Ertelt, 2011).  Abortion advocates said if Planned Parenthood loses its government funding that women would be hurt.  “Planned Parenthood has provided health services to one in five American women” Rep. Nita Lowley of New York said (Ertelt, 2011).

      The fact that the government is going to stop funding Planned Parenthood is adding fuel to the fire of the abortion debate.  The issue of abortion can make people very upset and emotional on both sides of the debate due to their own religious, philosophical, political, and personal beliefs and experiences.  Unfortunately, it is an issue that will continue to be argued by both sides of the debate on a yearly basis.  Reducing the number of abortions is the goal for both sides, however, how to attain that goal is the question.

Works Cited

"Abortions: pros and cons." Abortion Support. Designed by realcubes,  Web. 30 Mar

 All About Popular Issues “Pro-Choice Abortion- An Informed Choice?”

http://www.allaboutpopularissues.org/pro-choice-abortion.htm

Ertelt, Steven. “House Overwhelmingly Votes to Scrap Planned Parenthood Funding.”

http://www.lifenews.com/2011/02/18/house-overwhelmingly-votes-to-scrap-plannned-parenthood-funding/LifeNews.com Feb. 2011

Finer, Lawrence B. and Lori F. Frohwirth, Lindsay A. Dauphinee, Susheela Singh and Ann F. Moore. "Reasons U.S. Women Have Abortions: Quantitative and Qualitiative Perspectives."Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, Guttmacher.org, September 2005.

Guttmacher Institute. "Abortion Facts." The Center for Bio- ethical reform. Web. 30 Mar 2011.2011.

Head, Tom.  “Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice.” About.com. Civil Liberties http://civilliberty.about.com/od/abortion/tp/Pro-Life-vs-Pro-Choice.htm

Lowen, Linda. “Why Women Choose Abortion - Reasons Behind the Abortion Decision

Majority of Women Who Terminate a Pregnancy Cite One of Three Reasons” http://womensissues.about.com/od/reproductiverights/a/AbortionReasons.htm   

2 Mar. 2011

               Keep Your Big GOP Government Off Of My Body!

March 7, 2011

tags: Paul Jamiol, Political Cartoon

by Zooey

                                       All cartoons are posted with the artists’ express permission to TPZoo.
Paul Jamiol, Jamiol’s World